To be honest, the reason that this game has been posted at the last minute is because I find the current overall GOP scenario so repugnant that the notion of following tonight’s debate would be – to put it kindly – glutton for punishment.
However, some of you, for whatever reason that I promise not to judge, will indeed watch the GOP Debate tonight. The yoga hopefully will mitigate the elevation of your hackles. Put the beer back in the fridge! Unroll your mat. Here are the rules:
Every time a candidate says __________________, do (yoga pose) for 5 breaths.
*Donald Trump’s wealth or “knowledge” – anantasana (Vishnu’s couch pose)
*Benghazi – Virabhadrasana II (warrior 2)
*Iraq / Iran / Israel – Virabhadrasana III (warrior 3)
*Unions – Utkatasana (chair pose)
*Any reference to Obama – Virabhadrasana I (warrior 1)
*If any candidate whines about not getting called on enough – Balasana (child’s pose)
*Promising to “take America back” – Garudasana (eagle pose)
*If Trump interrupts another candidate – Kapotasana (pigeon pose)
*Any candidate’s attempt to retract what they said earlier – Ardha chandrasana (half moon pose)
*Any mention of the Holocaust (Nazis, ovens, etc.) or the Confederacy – Agnistambhasana (Firelog pose aka ankle-to-knee pose aka “agony-stambhasana”)
*When the audience cheers a racist or bigoted statement by a candidate – Bakasana (crow pose)
*When a candidate mentions his poor / hardscrabble childhood or a hardworking parent – Ananda balasana (happy baby pose)
*”Stopping Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders” – do your current most difficult yoga pose
*Warning that the US is becoming Greece – Navasana (boat pose)
*Any invocation of St. Ronald Reagan – Plank pose
*Any claim of a positive relationship with a minority, eg, “some of my best friends are…” – Supported bridge pose, using a block or equivalent under the sacrum
*Any reference to health care / Obamacare / ACA / doctor – Cobra pose
*Socialism / liberals – Upavista konasana (seated wide angle pose)
*Climate change / global warming – Vrksasana (tree pose)
*NRA / guns – Savasana (corpse pose)
*Ohio – Salabhasana (locust pose)
*Kenya – Baddha konasana (bound angle pose)
*Welfare / food stamps / minimum wage – Ardha matsyendrasana (seated half spinal twist)
… and for Jon Stewart later this evening: Namasté and laughter yoga!
Stay present and listen instead of reacting with judgment and critique: practice equanimity. Tomorrow, while your fellow citizens nurse their hangover, you’ll feel calm, limber, with a greater awareness of the GOP candidates.
© 2015 Amy Dara Hochberg. Image: http://www.printfection.com/yogatshirts/US-Patriotic-Yoga-T-shirts-Sweatshirts-Tees/_s_52585, grabbed on January 28, 2014. All rights reserved.